Double-Minded

In the last year and a half - after a long period of turmoil in my life -  I began to feel a refreshing and restoring of my walk with the Lord.  A rising up, back to my old "self" (in a way) and (in many ways beyond anything I have ever experienced), spiritually-speaking, where my confidence was and is being restored.  I suppose, for me, when the storms of life come and my sails get tattered and torn, it can take God a lot longer than necessary (out of my own choice) to restore my situation.  I know I can get tossed around from faith to unbelief in a matter of seconds sometimes by the enemy’s manipulative tactics and that frustrates me more often than not because one moment I can be on the mountain of faith and the next, in the valley of despair and unbelief.  Sigh….




So, during this time where I have become close to the Lord and in His Word daily and “studying the Word to show myself approved” He has begun to speak some pretty amazing things to me about faith and being a “double-minded” man from Scripture and how that has played out in my own life.  It has been a long journey (much to my chagrin at times) but the end result is I am very angry (honestly at myself) because in my IGNORANCE (which as a Believer is absolutely NO excuse) I have allowed a defeated foe (the enemy and his minions) to take me into double-mindedness, which I can now see directly resulted in circumstances in my life that were less than what I had faith and hope they would be.  That was not because of God, nor because I lacked faith, but because of what I have allowed….Glory to God that today I am getting a NEW revelation and a fresh understanding of what the Word says!


James 1:5-8 says:


“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”


As I have been meditating on these verses and seeking the Lord and even listening to a powerful preaching series on just these verses), I am now understanding, through the Spirit, more and more about this passage in that if I do NOT stand on the Word of God, but allow another thought to impede my mind (sown by the enemy) I can expect to receive nothing from the Lord and expect that my journey (my way) will be unstable (restless).


Romans 10:17 tells me that:  “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”


As I look back at some of the trials I have endured, I get it!  (hindsight is always 20/20).  I WAS unstable in my thinking and some times in my feelings and emotions.  I find, if I seek out the experience in reflection, that it was because the enemy came and sowed a seed of a LIE into that experience, that formed emotions in me (I allowed that seed to grow) and thus, shaped my belief and altered my faith!  It all worked to produce a crop in my life that was less than righteous, less than what God would have for me as his daughter, and contrary to the truth of His Word.


What an oxymoron.  If I had NOT gone through the trials the way I did, I would not have had the revelation I have had, yet if I had the REVELATION before the trial, I would NOT have had to suffer the trial the way I did…..


So, if given the obvious choice, I sure intend to gauge my faith on the WORD OF CHRIST and not on my OWN understanding or what anyone else says or what the enemy says!!!!


The opposite of “unstable” is “stable”.  The opposite of “expect nothing” is “expect everything”…


We really must build our trust (our faith) on the Word and on nothing else.

Living Confidently!

Last night at the Gathering, we talked and about living confidently! I enjoyed the discussion and Word as it always comes at exactly the right time for me and while I may be leading, I am doubly blessed each time by the interaction of the women and their honesty and how candid they are in our environment together. I count it a great joy and blessing to be “doing life” with such amazing, Godly women!

Our text last night started in Mark 4:38-41 where Jesus had just preached to a multitude and had taken His disciples and retreated to a boat to go to the other side. Jesus tells them they are going to the other side and thereafter takes a nap. During the time He is sleeping a big storm comes up and starts filling the boat with water….

Beginning in verse 38:

Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” (Mark 4: 38-4.)

We questioned that when God wants us to do something or is telling us where He wants us to go, we know for sure the enemy comes to create distractions and storms to attack our faith. We so identified with the men in the boat, afraid, without faith (Jesus says still you have NO faith?). In a moment, the men walking face-to-face with God, allowed fear to grip them, choking out the promise of God.

How does Jesus handle the storm? He rebuked it and told it what to do.

Rebuke in the Greek language looks like this: From epi and timao; to tax upon, i.e. Censure or admonish; by implication, forbid -- (straitly) charge, rebuke.

(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance.)

It wasn’t something He did after prayer, or waited to see what could/would happen. It was immediate and it was with authority.

When the enemy comes calling with lies (we aren’t good enough, we can’t do THAT, we will NEVER be THIS….) do we allow those thoughts to “rent space in our heads” or do we stand up and immediately rebuke the enemy’s attempts to pull down our faith and confidence? Not always our first response but a habit that, when well-learned, really goes far in living confidently and abundantly!

If you read on in Chapter 5 of Mark and you see mighty miracles of God working and healings. An amazing work is done with a man who is demon-possessed by a LEGION of demons (that are cast into 2,000 pigs who fling themselves ultimately off a cliff). This man was living in the graveyard and no one could tame him he was so out of it and in one fell-swoop Jesus casts out the demons and many come and find him clean, orderly and 100% healed and sane! This is only one of the miracles that is performed after they arrive.

So, what would have happened if they had let the enemy keep them in the storm and boat and lost their faith? God had a mighty plan for these men on the distant shore and the enemy knew it. And, while he may have done his best to distract and destroy and even kill, it could not stop God or harm his people.

How did the disciples handle the situation? How does that relate to how we handle things in our own lives when the enemy comes to with lies?

We remember and thank God that we know that the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy but Christ came so that we may have life, and have it ABUNDANTLY!!! (John 10:10).

Believing in you,
Cori

Time for a Heart Check!

HEART CHECK - WHAT IS THE TREASURE OF YOUR HEART?

What we say is a reflection of our hearts.

Matthew 12:35:
“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil things”

Luke 6:43-45:
“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. 45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

What is the treasure in your heart? What is in your heart that is flowing out of your mouth?

February is a month of love and I think it is time for a HEART CHECK!

We so often try to control what comes OUT of our hearts (treasure stored) but what about what we allow INTO our hearts! (Treasure deposited). What we allow in is what creates the state of our heart, and determines what treasure we have, and thus what is coming out of our mouth.

We must guard what is the treasure in our hearts! If we control what goes in, we control the state of our hearts and what flows out!

Our confession is then, a by product of what is in our hearts!

Last Sunday, Pastor Michael talked about guarding our hearts and being careful what we love. He touched on loving God First!

Well, we know that God is His Word!

John 1:1-5 says:
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend[a] it.

How that translates for me is God IN=God OUT in my own life. The more God and His word I put in, the more it comes out. That is my goal, that this becomes the treasure of my heart!


I got to thinking/meditating on that and I thought of a beautiful garden (my heart)…
As you know, this past year has been a lot about me reinventing ME, pruing ME and starting over. Now, I love to garden. I love to plant and tend and watch the flowers grow and bloom. I wait expectantly for the blossom and then for it to open! I love all kinds of flowers and gardening and am super excited that I moved back to Northern California because in Vegas NOT ONE THING WILL GROW…lol. So, the environment was really important to the plants I want to harvest like sweet peas and daffodils, and bulbs like that as well as impatients. I can’t wait for SPRING!!!!!!!!

Well, I know, just like everyone who gardens, that with the plants will come some weeds and so, part of gardening is pulling up the weeds so they don’t come along and have the chance to choke out the flower seeds before they can grow strong, right?

Well, my life and heart is just like that garden…in fact we are like soil, right? And I spent some time letting my garden go and letting weeds grow up and get bigger and bigger. They (the cares of the world) overtook my dreams and desires of my heart that I KNOW were from the Lord. I started to give up or to really believe all those lies (the weeds) and I even started to say it “I am not ever having a relationship again” “I am not a good choice….I can’t pick any good ones.” That is what was in my heart. I put it there.

Is that happening to you? It did to me and I then made up stories to justify it…I don’t DESERVE a Godly husband….I am NOT good enough….get the idea?

Mark 4 outlines the parable of the seed and the sower. We know this parable, right…sower sows seed, different ground types, we are the soil or the ground, the seed is the word, right?

Look in Mark 4 beginning at 14:

14 The sower sows the word. 15 And these are the ones by the wayside where the word is sown. When they hear, Satan comes immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their hearts. 16 These likewise are the ones sown on stony ground who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with gladness; 17 and they have no root in themselves, and so endure only for a time. Afterward, when tribulation or persecution arises for the word’s sake, immediately they stumble. 18 Now these are the ones sown among thorns; they are the ones who hear the word, 19 and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. 20 But these are the ones sown on good ground, those who hear the word, accept it, and bear fruit: some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundred.”

What chokes the seed in this explanation? The cares of the world, deceitfulness of riches, desires for other things!!!! Is that a foundation for “evil treasure”? I wonder (just my opinion but something to think about, no?) But more importantly, WHO comes to TAKE AWAY THE SEED IN THEIR HEARTS????

Satan………he comes and tells us about the cares of the world, the deceitfulness of riches, etc.

So what causes the sidebar of focus being distracted? What shows us the things of society and the world? Magazines….music….radio…television? What is it for you and what do we do with it all?

OK, so let’s change the FOCUS!!!!!

Let’s focus on what the TRUTH says!!!!

Philippians 4:8-9: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you"

Philippians 4:6:7: “Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, tell your requests to God in your every prayer and petition-with thanksgiving. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

What guards our hearts: PEACE OF GOD
How do we get it: Thinking on….Phil 4:89

OK, so one part it is what we think. How do we deal then with what we put into our brains that causes us to think?

Well how about when we realize the lies we are saying, we stop ourselves and edit what we are allowing by feeding it back to ourselves correctly?

Here is one I came up with:

Lie: God has forgotten me.
Truth: God will never forget me

Isaiah 49:15-16
15 “ Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
16 See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.

F...E...A...R...

F…E…A…R…

False…Evidence….Appearing….Real….

This past Saturday I had a situation crop up in my life during a conversation with a friend in my car as I was driving. During the conversation I became overwhelmed with fear. At first, thoughts of my past did grip me - a circumstance where I was exited out of a moving vehicle and had to walk home - did come back to my mind. However, I was completely safe and the physical reaction that rose up in me didn’t match the conversation, other than I was driving on the freeway at the time with my friend as a passenger.

Slowly, an old habit of anxiety came over me. In an attempt to thwart its existence and calm myself I became defensive - deflecting the conversation - in an attempt to make it stop. It didn’t work. I was unable to communicate what was happening and it just kept getting worse and worse.

The anxiety rose and it took a lot to pull into my destination. My breathing was all out-of-whack - I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I had to exit the car for a minute or two and take some deep breaths and separate myself and pray it off of me.

I was mad! None of it was real…I was perfectly safe. My friend had no idea what was happening…I was embarrassed…

I stood on the street outside the car and the Holy Spirit reminded me:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

It went away.

I do believe that fear is the enemy’s #1 weapon in his arsenal against believers. If he can get us to fear, then he can help us fall victim to worry and other parts of sin… the “what ifs” then can plague our lives, almost becoming a paralyzing force (at least for me).

Yet fear is not tangible. We THINK something may happen and so we are fearful or a past situation or circumstance makes us think we are there again (as in the car situation with me on Saturday.)

Some would say I suffered a trauma and, thus, suffer from a sort of PTSD from past. Maybe so yet I only know that I can be transformed by the renewing of my mind according to the Word.
How on earth to we drive fear from us? 1 John 4 says that perfect love is what casts it out.

What is love?

He that loves not knows not God; for God is love. 1 John 4:8

Our Confession

Confession by definition means: –noun
1. acknowledgment; avowal; admission: a confession of incompetence.
2. acknowledgment or disclosure of sin or sinfulness, esp. to a priest to obtain absolution.
3. something that is confessed.
4. a formal, usually written, acknowledgment of guilt by a person accused of a crime.
5. Also called confession of faith. a formal profession of belief and acceptance of doctrines, as before being admitted to church membership.
6. the tomb of a martyr or confessor or the altar or shrine connected with it.
(taken from www.dictionary.com)

Sometimes, our confession changes, based upon how we are feeling at any given moment in time. Often times, we feel something (negative) but confess another (positive) when people ask us “how are you?” (I feel afraid…I confess “I am fine”)

Here are a few feelings…Do you recognize any of them? SELF-CONSCIOUS ANGRY UNHAPPY JOYFUL RESISTANT ANXIOUS OVERWHELMED DISCONNECTED LONELY AFRAID SAD WORRIED INADEQUATE STUCK UNWORTHY WILLING GRATEFUL HAPPY CAPABLE TIMID STUPID FAT EXPOSED IGNORANT TIRED PEACEFUL LOVED SCARED EMPOWERED.

Our feelings are a reflection of the state of our heart. When we say one thing and yet do not reveal the truth of how we feel, often an inner conflict is created within us. It creates a wound, if you will, a weakness, an inner debate or even a deception in the sense that we are not really being truthful. We become susceptible to doubt and fear and attack by the enemy to plant the seed of a lie in us. Our emotions then have an opportunity to be the filter of what we say. Soon enough we begin to rely upon the filter and unspoken emotions and feelings and it can become our truth….or our identity…we will totally believe it is truth!

Example, someone says: “how are you?” You say: “I am fine”. You are really struggling and want to ask for help but don’t. You leave feeling unheard and feel uncomfortable. You drive home and feel a little angry and alone. Over time your confession becomes “no one cares about me!” (If I say I am fat long enough, it doesn’t matter what the scale says, I FEEL FAT).

Seeds of lies become a filter, like glasses, in how we see and conduct ourselves. We receive these from many sources in life…society, family, employers, co-workers, well-meaning friends, even our church and communities plant seeds in us. The question is, how do we weed out things that are NOT truth? Furthermore, understanding what is reliable truth is the ONLY way to get rid of the lie.

Who is the author (father of lies?) (John 8:44)
How do we find truth? (John 16:13)

The Power of Your Confession:

“What a woman thinks about, she talks about; what she talks about she brings about” -Pat Fortenberry

It starts with what we think. It starts in the mind. The mind is a battlefield of conflicting thoughts.

So, what’s on YOUR mind?

The Battlefield:

Ephesians 6:12: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

The Mind:

Romans 12: 2: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Ephesians 4:23: “To be made new in the attitude (or spirit) of your minds”

James 1:8: “a doubleminded man, unstable in all his ways.”
James 4:8: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye doubleminded.”

The Mouth:

Matthew 15:11 - What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' "

Matthew 15:18: But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'

Luke 6:45: The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.:

What Have We Learned?

We are in a war and the battlefield is our mind. Satan is our enemy and he uses diligent tactics, strategies and lies to create a deliberate deception.

We often do not express how we feel, but instead stuff our emotions which creates inner conflict. We cease to be authentic - who God made us to be.

Seeds planted by the enemy become filters through which deception takes hold - our thoughts become unclean - tainted - muddy
We can renew our mind by choice through the One who is Truth - Jesus!

Hooray! It is within OUR control to renew our mind!

This week, I will focus on all that I AM (through Christ) and not on what I am not. I will take time to be still before the Lord to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me my patterns of thought/speak/confession.

No Fear in Love

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 4:18...NIV


1 John is probably one of my favorite books in the Bible on love...it has spoken to me most of my Christian walk, as an example of how God's agape (love), or His emptying out and self-sacrifice (definition of agape) has driven out fear and emboldened me to continue to seek to be made perfect in love.


While I have extrapolated this verse, it really is much bolder in context of the entire book of 1 John.


Today the Spirit is speaking to me about speaking truth and love and that they are one in the same = JESUS. I think I have often, out of fear to appear offensive, or because i felt that I had a "plank" in my eye, that I was unable to speak truth...I continue to realize that I must speak truth and that the Word is truth. Doesn't matter how I feel about it, if I like it or not; doesn't make it NOT truth. I have spent a lot of time justifying why that shouldn’t be truth, and many years side-stepping around the fact that it IS true and suddenly I am finally submitted to the fact that not only IS it true, but one of the main problems in many lives is simply that we don’t want to say the truth, and we definitely don’t want to hear (or like hearing) the truth. OK, so I am guilty, Father and I beg forgiveness!


Selah……

 If I withhold truth or do not tell you the truth, especially out of fear, then how is love perfected in me? Am I so concerned about how you will "feel" about it, that I am silent? Do I speak truth, out of my love for you, my concern and for your welfare, or do I sit on it and remain silent (tolerance) so that I do not offend? (Insert healthy fear of God on my part here because of what I will have to give account for when I stand before Him).


In all of Scripture I don't see that Jesus....I mean I see the Jesus who speaks absolute truth in love which is His motivation but He is speaking, He is not silent....


My prayer and confession for today is:


May I have the courage Lord, to be the truth, follow Your truth, and speak Your Truth, despite the planks in my eye, to my Christian family out of reverence to You lest I appear on Judgment day and give an account for my sin of not speaking.


Love is the only thing that remains...it remains more than my faith or my hope according to 1 Cor 13. It is the greatest of these three things.


I may be a broken vessel, Lord. I may have a huge plank in my eye, but grant me courage to not let that deter me from speaking Your truth. You tell us that if anyone professes that Jesus Christ is Lord that he is from God.


Then, Father, let me acknowledge that in everything that is spoken to me....that I will search for what You would have for me, and ignore the vessel in which you bring it to me through. Let it not be about how they speak it, but only that I hear YOU in it.


Likewise, let the Truth you give to me, by speaking Your Word, be edifying and bring about fruit and I thank you that your Word never returns void, in Jesus’ name, Amen!


My heart hurts…


When, oh when, church, will we begin to speak the truth, regardless of the offense? When will we stop running around with itching ears seeking what feels good and sounds good and calling THAT truth when that is just stroking our egos and our flesh?


I pray personally that I am no longer afraid to hear the truth and to be perfected in love as this verse says!


Thank you, Lord!

Am I THAT Transparent?

This week someone said to me in passing conversation that I was “transparent.”  So, of course, being the analytical woman I am, I had to drag this with me into the throne room and have a conversation with my God about it and ask His opinion.  One of the best things about my relationship with my love (Jesus) is the fact that anything I bring into the throne room and talk about in communion with Him; He will take me seriously and answer my questions and communicate with me via His Spirit.  Just that intimate sharing and trust with Him and knowing that He will always answer me is so comforting!


So, I asked Him, am I THAT transparent, Lord?  His answer?  I HOPE SO!  My response was, “huh?”


[trans-pair-uh nt, -par-] –adjective
1. having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.
2. admitting the passage of light through interstices.
3. so sheer as to permit light to pass through; diaphanous.
4. easily seen through, recognized, or detected: transparent excuses.
5. manifest; obvious: a story with a transparent plot.
6. open; frank; candid: the man's transparent earnestness.
7. Computers . (of a process or software) operating in such a way as to not be perceived by users.
8. Obsolete . shining through, as light.


After reading this definition of the word transparent I got to thinking about being transparent so that rays of light can be distinctly seen, recognized, and detected.  Am I, as a believer, transparent in my daily life?  Not in what I say but in WHO I AM?  Am I open, frank and candid about Jesus?  Am I obvious?  Can everyone see the light of the Holy Spirit shining in me?  Do I keep his commandment and love, without expectation or agenda but just because He asked me to?  Even when it is taken for granted or stomped upon or not returned….do I honor Him?  Oh boy, some tough questions for me.


Today, in my quiet time this morning, I had a few verses come to me.  Here they are:


Proverbs 10:12:  “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Proverbs 17:9:  “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
John 13:35:  “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."


Philippians 2:13:  “so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe”. (in the context of don’t grumble or argue)




The antonym of transparent is SECRETIVE.  Do I have ulterior motives other than to love and hold those in my life with the utmost respect?  Is that obvious?  Am I genuine?




I had to laugh and thank Him for my time in the throne room today because now I know the answer to the question: “Am I that transparent, Lord?:  My answer?  “Man, I HOPE SO!”